Resilient How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm Strength and Happiness Review
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I'yard starting to avert books with 'happiness' in the championship...
We have the 'fully hippy' journeying here. Resilience. Mindfulness. Self honey. Self forgiveness.
What is remarkable most such books is the complete disconnection from context. People are not unhappy because of a lack of self love. They are unhappy because of a diabolical workplace, complex family structures and an unstable economy. Resilience is non created through private choices.
Resilience is created past transforming orga
Dear. Oh Dear.I'm starting to avoid books with 'happiness' in the championship...
Nosotros accept the 'fully hippy' journeying here. Resilience. Mindfulness. Self love. Self forgiveness.
What is remarkable nearly such books is the complete disconnection from context. People are not unhappy because of a lack of self dear. They are unhappy because of a diabolical workplace, complex family unit structures and an unstable economy. Resilience is not created through private choices.
Resilience is created by transforming organizational cultures to remove the culture of self blame for wider social injustices.
This book is bones, pitiful and - yes - worrying.
...more thanSome of the topics I found especially meaningful were on body credence, dealing with feelings of failure, parental relationships, and anger. I listened t
This was an insightful and inspiring book to read during the pandemic. It was recommend by a colleague who was using it in a seminar on resilience. I was pleasantly surprised by the breadth of subjects that Rick Hanson covers in a relatively short book. He focuses on practical suggestions and coping strategies, and I found a lot to appreciate.Some of the topics I found particularly meaningful were on body acceptance, dealing with feelings of failure, parental relationships, and anger. I listened to this on audio, but there were then many good examples that I got a print re-create to marker some quotes. Recommend for readers who like books on personal growth.
Personal Note: In the chapter on Mindfulness, Hanson talked nearly the importance of finding a refuge, "annihilation that protects, nurtures, or uplifts you." He mentions how places can exist refuges, such as a favorite coffee store, church, library or a park. With that mention of library, I flashed dorsum to my childhood and remembered how much I had loved spending time at the public library. During the summer I would go in that location for hours — I remember once checking out so many books that I maxed out my limit. In junior high I noticed that a girl who was a grade above me got a function-time job there, and I was sooooooooo envious. That may have been the get-go time I thought, "I want to work in a library when I abound upward." And hither I am, several decades later, working in a lovely little library and hopefully creating a welcoming refuge for others.
Meaningful Passages
"The fear of failure is worsened if you grew up with a lot of criticism, even if in that location was also a lot of beloved. It'southward also worsened if you are function of a company — or more broadly, an economy — that's incentivized to keep people on the proverbial hamster bike, with real success always slightly out of attain ... Consequently, attempt to discover some of the many goals you achieve daily. Be mindful of succeeding at small outcomes ... Fifty-fifty in a very difficult life, it's possible to feel successful in many means. The more that you feel defeated about some things, the more important it is to recognize your victories in many other things."
"To take more acceptance of your body, start by bringing to mind some people yous like and respect. How much does the way they expect matter to you? Probably very footling."
"Anger is a messenger. What is information technology telling you about your deeper frustrations?"
"Beware the rewards the come up with acrimony... the surge of righteous indignation and energy that comes with anger tin feel stimulating, organizing and even pleasurable. Acrimony is also an effective way to hide injure and vulnerability, assert status or potency, push away fear, and compensate for feeling small or weak."
"What's the most important infinitesimal in life? I think it's the side by side one. There is nothing we tin do almost the by, and we accept limited influence over the hours and days to come. But the next minute — minute after minute later on minute — is ever full of possibility. Are in that location opportunities to be on your ain side, bring caring to your pain, accept yourself, and enjoy what you tin can? Is in that location something you lot could heal, something yous could acquire?"
...moreHanson takes a complex concept, adds layers, and then deconstructs everything and so it'southward easy to grasp.
Resilient is broken down into four parts, each with three chapters. At that place'due south something virtually the sy
Hanson takes a complex concept, adds layers, and so deconstructs everything so it'south like shooting fish in a barrel to grasp.
Resilient is cleaved down into four parts, each with 3 chapters. There's something about the symmetry of this that makes reading it (or listening to, as I did) get smoothly. And I think that's part of Hanson'south plan. For me, each part or chapter was similar some other stone in a gently-balanced cenotaph.
In add-on, he takes three approaches and combines them. The showtime is his groundwork as a psychologist. Much of this book contains things I've heard from therapists over the years. Simply Hanson takes this perspective and adds layers, making the ideas seem fresh and unique. The second approach is that of Buddhism. Hanson incorporates this softly, with quotes and stories. If Eastern philosophy's not your matter, I'm guessing yous won't feel forced to agree.
Thirdly, Hanson adds the layer of neuroplasticity, which is the thought that the brain can remake its well-worn behavior pathways with some assistance. Neuroplasticity is an intense scientific concept, but Hanson gives the reader bite size pieces. That helps brand it digestible, as does the fact he uses many examples and jargon-free language to explicate the ideas.
My conclusions:
I am deeply beholden of self-help authors who create "Key Concept" sections throughout their book. These are the places I highlight (yes, I had an ebook copy of this as well). When I come dorsum to this book in a few months, it'll brand finding what I want so much easier.
Two of my favorite "cardinal concepts" included the ideas of disentangled and total pardon forgiveness. This is a perfect example of how Hanson imparts his ideas. Contained in the 4th function, titled Relating, and in the chapter on Generosity, he's found a perfect spot for the ideas. If they'd been introduced before on, I might not have been set—merely every bit information technology feels with real-life forgiveness. And Hanson doesn't force his readers to forgive in full pardon, recognizing information technology's just not always possible. Instead, he offers a mid-mode indicate with disentangled forgiveness. Thus, the participant in resilience is able to benefit from the information, while all the same being on the path of growth.
I recommend this volume to seekers, and as well to those looking for a way to comprise techniques to build neuroplasticity into everyday life. It's well worth your time!
Acknowledgements:
Many thanks to NetGalley, the authors, and Crown Publishing / Harmony for the digital ARC in exchange for this honest review.
We know countless kids today have high ACE scores. How can we create resilient children who will grow into successful adults? How can we assist them pursue their goals in the face of challenges? How can we help them avoid some of the negative impacts of trauma? What is in our circle of control as teachers?
Dr. Hanson outlines 12 areas of focus within the realms of condom, satisfaction, and connection. Each of these realms moves from recognizing, resourcing, regulating, and (the highest level) relating. Each of these areas is a chapter and provides a more than action oriented await at building resilience in ourselves and/or the children we work with.
one. Compassion
2. Mindfulness
3. Learning
4. Dust
5. Gratitude
6. Conviction
7. Calm
8. Motivation
9. Intimacy
10. Courage
11. Aspiration
12. Generosity
"True resilience fosters well-being, an underlying sense of happiness, dearest, and peace."
...moreThe final chapter deals with forgiveness, thursday Not an easy read with lots of weird unhelpful metaphors like "tiles flashing red in the mosaic of life". This book could have benefited from a stern editor. The exercises in the book are non always clearly separated from the text, and they lean heavily on the HEAL principle, which has a lot to do with thinking and feeling mindfully, and letting that thinking and feeling become ingrained into your psyche. Which is A: hard to do, and B: cannot be measured.
The last affiliate deals with forgiveness, this is very hard for a lot of people and I practice not think the writer acknowledges this. In his example he forgives an elderly neighbor who'due south tree barbarous on his argue. Inappreciably the worst someone could do to another.
All in all non the most practical or inspiring book. ...more
Hanson presents scientific and practical data in an easy to empathise, personable way. According to psychology, in that location are three basic needs for humans to have a fulfilled life: condom, satisfaction, and connection. Inside each of these three arenas, nosotros abound as we motion from recognizing (com
The "book blurb" says this volume will help yous "develop 12 inner strengths for being resilient no matter what life throws at you." That's a pretty alpine social club, but I must say I think Rick Hanson delivers.Hanson presents scientific and practical information in an easy to sympathize, personable way. According to psychology, at that place are 3 basic needs for humans to take a fulfilled life: prophylactic, satisfaction, and connectedness. Within each of these three arenas, we grow as nosotros move from recognizing (compassion, mindfulness & learning) to resourcing ourselves (grit, gratitude & conviction) to regulating our thoughts, feelings and actions (calm, motivation, intimacy) to relating (backbone, aspiration & generosity).
A chapter is devoted to each of the 12 tools (topics in parentheses above), and there are exercises to assist you personally chronicle and apply the tool. The book is written in such a way that you can read the book straight through, or jump from chapter to chapter according to your involvement or demand.
Every bit I imagine about people would, I establish that I was already using some of the tools, but was falling short in others (i.e. how best to handle the situation when people are getting on my final, fraying nerve). Hanson'southward practical advice makes you feel this is "doable" and helps get you back on track.
Each of the rules is but one role of the larger picture; all of them together give u.s.a. what nosotros need to be more calm, resourceful, focused and resilient in whatever state of affairs.
I give this volume 4 stars.
Many cheers to NetGalley & Crown Publishing for allowing me to read an due east-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed here are strictly my own.
...more"There's a proverb that says: Getting angry at others is similar throwing hot dress-down with blank hands - both people get burned."
"No one succeeds in a large way without sometimes declining in a big way. If yous fail, you'll be in good company."
"We tin tend to the causes merely can't control the results. All we can do is make the offer."
"the best predictor of the future is usually the past."
"Wha
"Imagine that your mind is a garden. You can tend to it in 3 ways: detect information technology, pull weeds, and plant flowers.""There's a maxim that says: Getting angry at others is like throwing hot dress-down with bare hands - both people get burned."
"No i succeeds in a big fashion without sometimes failing in a large style. If you neglect, y'all'll be in expert company."
"We can tend to the causes but tin't control the results. All nosotros can do is brand the offering."
"the best predictor of the future is normally the past."
"Whatsoever they did is non negated or excused by their pain and loss and stress, but compassion for the load they comport makes it easier to forgive the load they put on you."
...moreI use the learnings from this regularly with clients and in my day job.
Highly recommended
I think the most valuable thing most this book is Hanson'south give-and-take of how to actively learn from positive experiences and so that they are stored in our encephalon as inner resource. The practices from this book helped me to cultivate inner resources in the past yr, even as the pandemic has meant that outer resources seemed more scarce.
I
This was a very timely read for 2020/2021. Many of the chapters accept exercises / mediations / reflection questions to complete so it's a book that I read slowly.I think the most valuable thing about this volume is Hanson's discussion of how to actively learn from positive experiences so that they are stored in our brain as inner resource. The practices from this book helped me to cultivate inner resources in the past yr, fifty-fifty as the pandemic has meant that outer resources seemed more than scarce.
I would highly recommend this volume. In that location are and then many small practical suggestions. I experience like only a finite amount of them stuck the offset reading but I call up I will come back to it once again.
...more"It'southward usually the small-scale undramatic sustained efforts over time that make the most divergence"
"Too many people overvalue what they are non and undervalue what they are!" Malcolm Forbes
"Near people overestimate threats while underestimating their resources for managing them."
"Needless fear makes usa shift from budgeted opportunities to avoiding exaggerated threats."
The book begins by identifying three basic man needs (safety, satisfaction, and connection) and ways to meet those needs (recognizing, resourcing, regulating, and relating). These are set
Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Cadre of Calm, Strength, and Happiness is written past psychologist Rick Hanson along with his son Forrest. It looks at how to build resilience given what we know virtually the neuroscience of learning. Despite existence grounded in science, it'due south refreshingly applied and simple.The volume begins by identifying 3 bones human needs (safety, satisfaction, and connection) and ways to run across those needs (recognizing, resourcing, regulating, and relating). These are set up in a filigree that lays out the twelve master psychological resources that can exist used to run into those needs. This provides the foundation for the balance of the book, and a chapter is devoted to each psychological resources.
The neuroscience content is presented in a very attainable way, with a focus on learning and neuroplasticity. The concept of experience-dependent neuroplasticity is explained, and at that place is an accent on maintaining sufficiently prolonged attention to experiences and repeating them often enough for them to become consolidated into the nervous system and for neuroplastic changes to occur in neural structure and function.
Suggestions are given for ways to enrich experiences to ameliorate installation in the encephalon. Mindfulness is i instance of this, and it's presented in a clear, uncomplicated style that's probable to be compelling fifty-fifty for people who aren't interested in developing a formal meditative practice.
The book describes two primary modes of interacting with the earth around usa: a green zone and a crimson zone. The green zone is a responsive resting country that is entered when our needs are adequately met, while the ruby zone is a reactive mode, with activation of the fight/flight/freeze response and mental fear, frustration, and injure. Hanson describes how the reactive manner is driven by the more archaic parts of the brain that are focused on survival, and how evolutionary pressures have resulted in the brain having a bias towards the negative/dangerous..
The book's direct, matter of fact arroyo helps to reinforce the ideas presented and make them easy to empathize. Scientific discipline is e'er clearly connected to practical applications. The reward system in the brain is described from a neuroscience perspective, and this information is used to advise ways to boost current rewards every bit well as create new rewards. Empathy is also broken down into its dissimilar aspects and the corresponding brain regions, and this forms the basis for a give-and-take of functioning effectively in interpersonal relationships.
At that place are a few things that particularly resonated for me. Hanson writes that the inner critic should be considered "guilty until proven innocent." I also liked the first and 2d dart analogy to describe our initial and secondary reactions to difficult situations. The showtime sprint may be unavoidable, but the second dart is one we throw ourselves. Since I tend to be avoidant, it hitting dwelling when Hanson pointed out that we frequently do things because we fear the outcomes, but fail to consider what this dreaded expectation may take actually held us back from.
Some common misinformed ideas are addressed, such as the thought of cocky-deprivation. Hanson writes that "a healthy body and mind practice not come from denying, 'overcoming', or transcending needs. They are instead the natural result of taking care of your needs, and existence mindful of the needs of others." The book also explains that focuses on external conditions related to an experience isn't helpful, because "in terms of internalizing resource into the brain, experiences are independent of the conditions that evoke them."
The primary weakness of this volume is that it ends quite abruptly. The final chapter is on the psychological resource of generosity. There is no decision as one might expect to describe all of the ideas together. For the most office the book didn't really grab me emotionally, but I was okay with that, every bit i was able to appreciate the practicality of information technology. This is the starting time volume I've read by this writer, and afterward this I recall I'll be checking out his others.
...moreI volition exist buying multiple copies and handing them out to anybody!
...moreClick here to read the full review
Our human lives are filled with volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. We face a variety of threats that we tin can see and those we cannot. Living in this earth can make you aware of your need to become resilient. Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness shows you how to move closer to being undisturbed when the challenges of life come up your way – equally they invariably volition.Click here to read the full review
...more thanThere is much to exist gained from the information in this book. The writing, however, is at times simplistic enough for a fifth-grader, and at other times so disruptive that it required re-reading and sometimes reading yet a third time. I most gave up, but information technology seemed to turn around somewhere around page 182; almost as though a new writer took over. I'm glad that I finished it.
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